I’m a lot like my dad which is fine by me. He was my hero and growing up I always wanted to be him. When I was little he used to let me wear his badge and I’d walk around the house in his shoes. We’d play basketball, baseball or football and man I thought he was a giant among giants. In my eyes my dad was unstoppable. He could move mountains if he wanted to. Didn’t matter what crap was going on in the world he was always… a safe place.
Daddy’s love their little girls. But the relationship between a father and a son when done right is special in its own way. He was the first best friend I ever had. And I guess that’s why it really shocked me when he died. My world fell apart and sometimes I still think it still isn’t all put back together again. When it happened I was still in that stage where I thought nothing could touch him. And then I realized that he wasn’t so invincible. No one is, especially not little boys who are left behind.
Anyway, when he died I tried to take his place. It didn’t matter that I was just ten years old. I was the only guy in the house then. And even though I grew up the rest of my childhood and teen years with just my mom and my sisters and even though there’s been a lot of hurdles to jump along the way, I’ve developed a lot of my dad’s qualities.
I’m strong like he was. I’m stubborn like he was. My mom says I have his laugh. I worry about everyone around me before I worry about myself like he did. I’m led by my emotions just like he was. I’m not as open as he was. My dad was a people person, and not in a fake way. He liked people and he liked getting to know those people and letting them know him. Contrary to that, I can be very picky about who knows me… I mean who
really knows me.
And on my mom’s side, well I got her smile. She likes to say I got her heart too. And yeah, I think I did get her bleeding heart. Got her sense of humor. She’s very light-hearted. And I got her creative gene. Only she likes sewing clothes and I like tearing down and rebuilding houses. I just like working with my hands, being able see the things I accomplish. I like fixing things. Makes up for all the things I can’t fix.
Anyway, yeah. I’m like both of my parents in different ways. And there are parts of me that are unique, built in by experiences past and present. I guess despite it all I turned out alright. I’m still a work in progress. But if my dad could see me now I just really hope he’d be proud of what he saw.